Self-image leads to pain

Why divide problems as major and minor? Is not everything a problem? Why make them little or big problems, essential or unessential problems? If we could understand one problem, go into it very deeply however small or big it is, then we would uncover all problems. This is not a rhetorical answer.

Take any problem: anger, jealousy, envy, hatred—we know them all very well. If you go into anger very deeply, not just brush it aside, then what is involved? Why is one angry? Because one is hurt, someone has said an unkind thing; and when someone says a flattering thing you are pleased. Why are you hurt? Self- importance, is it not? And why is there self-importance?

Because one has an idea, a symbol of oneself, an image of oneself, what one should be, what one is or what one should not be. Why does one create an image about oneself?

Because one has never studied what one is, actually. We think we should be this or that, the ideal, the hero, the example. What awakens anger is that our ideal, the idea we have of ourselves, is attacked. And our idea about ourselves is our escape from the fact of what we are. But when you are observing the actual fact of what you are, no one can hurt you.

Then, if one is a liar and is told that one is a liar it does not mean that one is hurt; it is a fact. But when you are pretending you are not a liar and are told that you are, then you get angry, violent. So we are always living in an ideational world, a world of myth and never in the world of actuality. To observe what is, to see it, actually be familiar with it, there must be no judgment, no evaluation, no opinion, no fear.

  Jiddu Krishnamurti

Some thoughts on "The Work" of Byron Katie

"The Work" of Byron Katie is a set of 4 questions that each person must try to answer when he encounters a stressful thought .I see many people using this technique and also claiming to coach others on the same .I have also requested people going through stressful times to try doing "The Work" of Byron Katie and did send some basic info about that etc but quickly found out that not many keen were interested in doing "The Work" . I began to ponder what can be the reason for the popularity as well as the unpopularity of "The Work" .I really do not know how many people who are using "The Work" really using it the way it should be used .
Coming to practical terms "The Work" involves just a simple thing of accepting the reality or accepting the truth of the situation .Most of our problems are due to the fact that we fight with reality without learning to accept them and Byron Katie's key message is that when you fight with reality you loose only 100% of the time .This is the essence of "The Work" or Byron Katie's message . But are we really in a position to accept "The Truth'"or "reality" as it is ? Most of us are heavily conditioned by own thoughts ,feelings , fantasies, opinions and we take them to be real and work hard to achieve them and we encounter resistance in getting what we wanted we cry foul or blame others or pass judgement on others . We never question whether our thoughts ,feelings , fantasies and opinions are true in the first place .So this is the first thing that is needed to be done to lead an awakened life i.e questioning our own thoughts and feelings and understand how much we have been directly / indirectly conditioned by our family , society etc to have those thoughts and feelings .This needs lot of courage .This is exactly what J Krishnamurti has been advocating i.e the need to investigate deeper into our own thoughts and feelings .But J.Krishnamurti never gave any technique as such and left it to each individual to probe deeper and not to escape from this investigation by diverting to other techniques like chanting mantras , using breath control etc which can only temporarily stop the mind but as long as the basic investigation to our own thoughts and feelings are not being done we will be repeatedly keep getting stressed out .That is why Byron Katie gave her 4 questions in the form of "The Work" and I feel that the first question itself i.e "Do you know is it true?" if properly probed will help a person appreciate reality much better .
But most of the people use "The Work" to solve a problem i.e they imagine an outcome for their situation and expect "The Work" to bring out that outcome .This is mostly wishful thinking and "The Work" is not a wishful thinking but a process to understand and accept truth or reality as it is .If a couple is going through a separation then "The Work" will not help them patch up and this is what most people expect but if they honestly do "The Work" then they will understand why they landed up in such a mess in the first place and that understanding will help remove the bitterness between them and give them better insight in to their own unconscious pattern and create necessary space between them to move forward .
So unless and until an individual is willing to investigate the truth of a situation as it is without getting trapped in taking sides to satisfy his own ego or for the cause of self preservation , "The Work" will not be very useful for such a person ."The Work" is only useful for that person who respects and appreciates truth or reality as it is even if it is unpleasant to him /her .