Most of us don’t want to be intensely aware; it is too disturbing

Questioner: How is it possible to be intensely aware while one is occupied with a particular job?

Krishnamurti: I do not see the difficulty. Why can’t one be intensely aware while doing the job? Whether the job is mechanical, scientific, or bureaucratic, in being intensely aware while you are doing that job, you will not only do it more efficiently but you will also begin to be aware of why you are doing it, what are the motives behind your work. You will find out if you are afraid of your boss; you will observe how you talk to your underlings and to those above you. Being intensely aware in your relationship with others, you will know whether you are creating enmity, jealousy, hatred; you will see all your own responses in relationship, whether you are here, in a bus, in your office, or in the factory. All this is implied in intense awareness.

Also, if you are intensely aware, you might give up your job. Therefore, most of us don’t want to be intensely aware; it is too disturbing; we would rather continue with what we are doing, even if it is very boring. At best, we break away from that which bores us and find a job which is less boring, but this too soon becomes routine.

So, we are caught in habit: the habit of going to the office every morning, the habit of smoking, the sexual habit, the habit of ideas, concepts, the habit of being an Englishman, and so on. We function in habit. To be intensely aware of habit has its own danger, and we are afraid of danger. We are afraid of not knowing, of not being certain. There is great beauty, there is great vitality, in not being certain. It is not insanity to be completely insecure; it doesn’t mean that one becomes psychotic. But none of us want that. We would rather break one habit and create a more pleasant habit.

J Krishnamurthy